Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating: A Step-by-Step Guide for Overcoming Selective Eating, Food Aversion, and Feeding Disorders

Book Review: 5/5 Impact On Me (Book By Katja Rowell, Jenny McGlothlin, Suzanne Evans Morris)

Read more about the book here

This book had a huge impact on me—5 out of 5—because I could immediately use what I learned with my 5-year-old at home. It gave me confidence and practical tools, especially around nutrition and mealtimes. I wrote everything I learned from this book and related content in this blog: What I Learned About Picky Eating From 4 Expert Sources

If you're worried about your child's nutrition, the book suggests starting by tracking everything they eat for 7 days. Then you can show it to a dietitian for help. This kind of criteria was helpful.

Protein Needs: Overestimated

Most parents think kids need more protein than they actually do. But children usually get enough. For example, a 17 kg (39 lb) preschooler only needs about 20–25g of protein per day. That can come from:

• 1 cup of milk + 2 slices of bread with peanut butter

• OR 150g Greek yogurt + 4 chicken nuggets

Supplements and Nutrients

• While building vegetable habits, giving your child a multivitamin is okay.

• Calcium is usually not an issue if your child drinks cow's or soy milk. But if they don’t, keep an eye on calcium intake.

• Picky eaters might be low in iron. Ask your doctor if they need a blood test.

• You don’t need to limit salt unless there's a medical reason.

Sugar and Behavior

Avoid making a big deal out of sugar. If you highlight sugar as a problem, children may show more behavior issues. Instead:

• Pair sugary foods with protein or fat, like milk with cookies.

• Serve treats casually.

• The authors say even high fructose corn syrup can be part of a child’s diet—sugar is one acceptable way to provide calories.

Avoiding Pressure Around Food

The book lists 7 common ways parents pressure kids about food:

1. Emotional manipulation – “I made this just for you!”

2. Praise – “Good job eating all your peas!”

3. Rewards – “You get a sticker for eating.”

4. Deals – “Two bites = dessert.”

5. Forced interaction – “Just kiss the broccoli.”

6. Health talk – “It’s good for you.”

7. Programs – like “Try 10 new foods in 10 days”

These often backfire. The better approach is to build a calm, predictable routine.

Meal Routines and Independence

Create a schedule: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner. Stick to rough time windows so your child knows what to expect.

Don’t praise how much they eat. Instead, praise independence:

• Washing hands

• Cleaning toys

• Bringing food to the table

• Putting on their apron

Getting kids involved in cooking helps too, but it won’t guarantee they’ll eat everything.

School and Mealtime Environments

Make sure schools aren’t pressuring kids to eat “one more bite,” finish food before dessert, or follow strict portion rules.

Before dinner, keep kids active with light play or tickles to keep energy up.

Call everything “mealtime” instead of “lunch” or “snack.” If they’re hungry just before dinner, avoid large snacks—maybe offer a tiny snack or move dinner earlier.

Let them sit at the kitchen table while you cook. It keeps them involved without spoiling dinner.

Feeding Tubes and Picky Eating

If your child needs a feeding tube, that’s okay. It can reduce stress about nutrition and give you space to work on eating slowly and gently.

If your child skips dinner often, it’s okay to offer a bedtime snack. It’s a low-pressure chance to eat again. As long as dinner includes one “safe food,” that’s enough.

If they ask for something else at dinner—like crackers—you don’t need to give in. Explain the new routine gently:

“We used to offer crackers when you asked. Now you can choose from what’s on the table.”

Eating Setup

• Remove the tray from the high chair and pull it up to the table.

• Make sure your child’s feet are supported with a footrest.

• Serve food family-style in the center of the table.

• Don’t pre-plate food. Let them choose what and how much to eat.

Dessert Rules

The authors suggest serving dessert with dinner and limiting how much. But I prefer giving dessert separately and letting kids decide how much they want.

Teaching Preferences and Respect

Help kids learn that everyone has different tastes:

“Your yucky is my yummy.”

If someone pressures your child to eat, teach them to say,

“No thank you.”

If your child prefers fast food and you like steamed veggies, know that the gap won’t close overnight. Take small steps.

Food Chaining

Food chaining means small, gentle progressions. But some suggestions didn’t appeal to me—like moving from water to juice or from plain to flavored yogurt. I don’t want to push sugary foods just for the sake of chaining. That’s not a goal I share.

Focus on Taste, Not Just Nutrition

Kids eat what tastes good. Instead of pushing nutrition facts, focus on making healthy food taste good.

Condiments are fine—just like adults use hot sauce. If your kid likes chicken with ketchup, you can use that as a bridge to trying new proteins.

In new settings, offer familiar foods first. Add “learning” foods slowly, one step at a time.

Think About the Environment

Consider the eating setup at school or daycare:

• Are kids rushing to get to play?

• Are teachers watching over them while eating?

• Are they wearing bulky clothes?

• Can they open their containers?

Practical Tools and Fun Ideas

• Freeze yogurt sticks for the lunchbox—they’ll thaw by lunch.

• Use fun tools like fruit picks or chopsticks. Let kids use crackers as spoons if they like.

• Don’t stress about manners at first. Focus on making meals fun.

• Try a weekly “fancy dinner night” with funny accents or silly rules.

Go to farmers’ markets when your child is a little hungry—free samples are a great way to try new things.

Notice your child’s preferences. If they hate messy hands, keep a washcloth nearby. If they don’t care, let the mess be. Don’t interrupt their eating to clean up.

I didn’t read the therapy sections closely because my child doesn’t need that level of support. But the rest of the book gave me clarity and peace of mind. It helped me create a more relaxed, respectful, and confident approach to feeding my child.